The Baby With The Bathwater

Blackheart:

A group of ravenous ducks fighting over breadcrumbs.  Summertime at Disneyland.  A Cancun wet t-shirt contest.  A Justin Bieber sighting.  A World Cup match.  The dinner table of a family of ten kids.  What do these things have in common?  CHAOS.  Now take the images of those events and apply them to the 24 hours leading up to our 2-day, overnight trial hike... 

It's not as if mom and I were unprepared.  We've been packing for months on end, fine-tuning every last piece of gear.  However, as we began to fill up our Camel Pack 'bladders' (that is indeed the official word for them), started adding snacks and putting in last minute things, the weight became very very real.  So real I could taste the shoulder and hip pain to come.  Especially considering my cousin had gotten her pack down to 10 pounds pre-water and food.  Now that's a feat to which she deserves a gold medal. 

So like prizefighters before a big match, Saturday evening began our rush to get the weight down.  The two day trip included a 12-mile hike around Lake Natoma Sunday, followed by an evening at Lake Natoma Inn and another hike around Natoma the following day.  About 25 miles all together and a lot of stops at Karen's Bakery Cafe.  Yet, before we embarked, hard choices had to be made.  Important items to my sanity had to be left by the wayside.  The baby and the bathwater had to go.

I started with make-up.  Goodbye blush!  Goodbye one measly color of eye-shadow!  I tested the old 'pinch your cheeks to make them rosy' trick, and unbelievably it worked!  So, fellow pilgrims, if you see me pinching my cheeks in front of the mirror in the uni-sex bathrooms it's because one of you is attractive enough to warrant a rosy glow.  I couldn't, however, part with my powder and concealer.  I'm sorry, it's not in me.  If I have to look at my shiny face for three months I might literally go blind.  Not worth it.  I'm still considering the mascara though...  Do I really need it?  Will anyone on the trail other than myself be impressed by how thick my lashes are... or even notice the difference?  The thing with mascara, it's one more step at night to take it off.  And who needs one more step in the bathroom when your legs are about to collapse beneath you?

Next, the underwear went from 4 to 3.  Then - and this really hurt - I got rid of my second 'going out' dress and 'going out' lightweight jacket.  I will have to survive on one non-hiking apparel.  If any of you have seen my closet, you will know how hard this will be for me.  One single Patagonia black dress.  And I'll have to use my hiking jacket for night as well, sweaty or not.  Yes, folks, the stinkiness factor just rose up a notch!  Sorry 'bout it.  Took out my pj bottoms, as well.  The top is long enough, and if my butt cheeks make an appearance in the crowded refugios, then at least they'll be toned from all the walking.  I topped things off by then replacing my larger toiletries bag with a smaller one, as even the fabric needed to create the larger size adds unwanted weight.

So this was all the night before.  But it didn't end there.  That night I stayed up late looking over other people's online Camino packing lists where everyone warned to GET RID OF MORE.  I tossed and turned into the wee hours thinking of what else I could discard.  Would I wind up hiking in a sports bra and underwear, sucking in my stomach every time I chanced upon a fellow pilgrim?  So the next morning I made the biggest decision of them all - to not bring my iPod.  The iPod alone isn't terribly heavy, but the charger is a bit of a beast.  That means no music on the trail.  No audio books that my friend so lovingly sent me.  I would listen to the sweet sounds of nature and my own panting.  It was only until the second day of our overnight hike, when mom and I had run out of verbal games to play and the fairy tale we were conceiving of 'an elfin bunny who knew the secret to why the townspeople were getting sick' went cold did I realize that the sounds of nature and our banter simply weren't going to cut it every day for 85 days.  I was going mad on day 2!  However, miraculously, last night I realized I can plug my earphones into my iPad even as it's snuggled within my backpack and rock out on the trail.  Genius!

Then there was the car ride to the Inn and trail head where I took out my body lotion and body wash.  Lotion is a luxury.  I will have to make do with sunscreen by day and the occasional hotel room that provides lotion at night.  Most places we'll stay have soap/body wash, and for the refugios, I'll have to steal the hotel soap from the night before.  One guy online even used laundry soap for laundry, body wash, shave gel, shampoo and conditioner, but that just seems a bit extreme.  Can you say 'Dermatistis and limp hair'?  Though we'll see how I feel after a month... 

So off we went, making great time both days, although I have to say my legs were barking during the last 4 miles the second day.  The night at the Natoma Inn, of course, led to even more tossing out of stuff.  Bye-bye Vaseline!  Goodbye pocket-sized moleskin notebook!  Farewell Airborne!  Adieu multi-vitamins - good old-fashioned food will simply have to cut it for nourishment.  I even took out most of my ibuprofens because I read a blog that said pharmacies were everywhere and to only bring 10 pain killers at a time.  Plus, isn't booze a natural pain killer anyway?  Couldn't a nightly glass of vino take care of things quite pleasantly and without the excess weight (other than to your gut)? 

So now I've coined a term.  I call this entire process 'pilgrimizing', as you let go of things you thought you needed to embrace a life stripped down and much, much less sanitary.  I haven't even stepped one foot on the Camino yet, and already I'm pilgrimizing like there's no tomorrow.

And if you think all this agonizing is for naught, picture this:  A 10lb dumbbell.  A gold brick.  A cement steeping stone.  A Smart Car.  A lead pipe.  What do these have in common?  They're what a Qtip feels on your muscles when in your backpack.

And please feel free to weigh in on the mascara debate...